Im not entirely sure who I am anymore.
How did I get here - 30? Angry, distrusting, jaded.
Weathered.
These tears that fall - they fall for no one. What a strange reality to be faced with.
To finally be exhausted of all choices. To once and for all lose a grip on...
I will crumble - buckle under the weight. The onus of this truth.
There is no one left to miss. No communication for a temporary pulse race.
No one left to crave. No one in whose honor I will double over - clutch my chest in heaving want and desire.
My future, as I see it, has distilled down to a concentration of explanations and bad decisions. A blended delight of disbelieving remorse.
Have I so quickly worn out my welcome?
A decade is more than a welcome. I wish I could convince myself of such reality.
Who am I now? Without the temporal trappings of...
I hate crying.
2 comments:
This post makes my heart hurt for you. I do however love the new song you've got playing... it adds to the mood of the post, which I doubt is a coincidence. Damien Rice rules. Keep your chin up kid and know that I'm praying for you.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - I love you. Exactly how you are.
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