* Lauren and Ashlee through the ages...
April 23rd
Ashlee: Dear Britney, We KNOW you are bald. You are a million-aire, soon to be thousand-aire, now spending your dub's on Del Taco crinkle fries and Really Really bad wigs!
Lauren: She taunts us with her follicular shenanigans
Ashlee: My synthetic piece from Westminister mall looks more real than what she is rocking! And STOP with the boots, hats, and frilly dresses - we have all seen - intimately - that you are in fact not that innocent. Enough already. Justin still does not want you.
Lauren: you are the only one still hung up on the justin britney thing
Ashlee: YOU ARE!!!!!
okay Iam - are you trying to tell me that she would not jump back on that train so fast if he even looked at her sideways
Lauren: i dont know , i dont think about it - but i dont think he would ever go back to that
Ashlee: that does not mean she isnt on an endless road show of crazy all over LA in a weird desperate attempt to get noticed
Lauren: You cant stop can you.
Ashlee: Sadly no.
May 11th
Lauren: The pics of her on people.com are disturbing - why is she perpetually being led around by the hand like a child?
Ashlee: If you look at pretty much every picture of her lately - she is holding her cousin/assistants hand - I think she has social anxiety
Lauren: just disappear already and come back fierce
Ashlee: take a good long time so we forget about you and forget about your mess of a life
Lauren: just wait until your hair grows back long, that should be enough time
Ashlee: exactly - like the sands of the hourglass
Lauren: okay, enough britney talk, it really ruins my day
Ashlee: looking at pictures of her makes the baby jesus cry
June 29th
Lauren: Britney gave her mom a break up letter - outside of a trailer...how appropriate
Ashlee: before I thought she was just crazy - and now Im just mad
you dont treat your mom that way
publicly
Lauren: seriously
Ashlee: she will rue the day she put the cut-off jean shorts back into rotation
with dangling pockets no less!
God - why does she continue to assault my eyes
Lauren: r u resting this weekend?
Ashlee: Nay
no rest for the fierce
Lauren: lol
what r u doing?
Ashlee: sitting at my desk - trying to calm down over my spears rage
Lauren: i meant this weekend
Ashlee: ah
LAUGHING OUT LOUD
July 26th
Ashlee: so how long are we going to have to deal with head scarf britney
I dont feel like she realizes she has a huge forehead
Lauren: im sure by now she could have a cute short haircut
Ashlee: exactly - she should jump on the posh train
Lauren: well i dont think her hair is that long yet do you
Ashlee: hm... no - but its better than looking like you are perpetually on spring break in the Bahamas. she should get a short wig
Lauren: she is so messed up in the head
Ashlee: someone take her damn kids
dont they have actual reasons at this point
like good lord
we should have a blog that is basically us just pasting our chats about britney
Lauren: That would be a long blog
Ashlee: well it would be various entries depending on when we IM about her
Lauren: yes
Ashlee: So titled:
"IM not a saint, not yet a corpse"
IM = Instant message
Lauren: oh you are being serious
me: it needs work! jump on the train here please
July 27th
Ashlee: why is it the attention whore olympics right now
you know paris is at home trying to figure out how to hijack a plane to get some more glory here
Lauren: hahaha
Ashlee: britney goes to jail
and then my life will be complete
Lauren: i thought you liked her
Ashlee: no - she has it coming to her
She has had it coming since she recorded "Lucky" My ears need to be freed from their own incarceration by the entire BRITNEY album.
1 comment:
I. miss. you.
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