How The Mighty Have Fallen

I realize that I said I was done with her. I am indeed expending too much energy and time trying to make sense of this hot mess, largely to no avail. I understand that my continued obsession is becoming tacky, embarrassing, and irritatingly self-righteous. Honestly...I'll stop these behaviors when she does.

On that note, I would like to take a minute to once again present to you...

BRITNEY SPEARS THEATER: "Remember when I used to be hot and talented? Yah, neither do I - now where's my meth..."


Exhibit A:

This is hands down the best video she's ever made - and is arguably amazing in its own right. Time, effort, money, and some sit-ups were generously expended. And it shows. Try to watch this without wanting to dance - on someones lap or otherwise.


And then...

I am assuming, dear readers, that you are all not spending an inordinate amount of time reading celebrity gossip blogs all day such as yours truly, and therefore may not be aware that this is the latest offering from B. Spears. Recently released on iTunes and possibly TRL, if Im not mistaken. I present this to you purely for comparison.

Aside from the fact that she hired her dealer to shoot this with his 1987 VHS Camcorder, someone got a little effects crazy, and the girl still buys her wigs at the same place THAT I DO. The whole thing is honestly just awkward and strange. Girl listen, you used to be a good dancer. Like, really good. No one can take that away from you. There is actual proof of this (See ABOVE Above). So why in God's name are you twisting around a pole like a drunken Laguna Beach cast member on Spring Break. This is so amateur its embarrassing.
Thank God you spent a portion of your budget on that stick-on tattoo. Im sure no cheeto went untouched.

Also, just an Fyi, Fishnets dont make your ass look smaller. I learned this lesson last Halloween when we went as the Pussycat Dolls (Im still mad, Kathy and Gina!). Dont make the same mistake I did. Pants are your friend. Invest in pants.

And stop making music videos until you are hot again.

YOU'RE WELCOME.