Im Sorry... I Need A Minute Here...

For the whichever, whatever, whomever's record: Having an Enviable boyfriend and having just A boyfriend, ARE NOT THE SAME THING.

This is going to be tough to hear, but nothing you are going through right now is at all new or different. Its called dating. Its called what I did ages 15-25. Does that make me sound jealous? Or is that just what you were hoping for with all this talk about dates and roses and text messages.
Kids listen, what grade is everyone in?
Am I living in a state of High Schoolers?

Maybe its cuz all my OG's (Original Gangstas) are married, that I forget that my new life is now filled with youngsters on their first bull ride out of the gate. Fine, I accept that. I will listen openly to your stories about how your first kiss was during a slow dance (like last week), and how this was your first Valentines day with a boy ever (which, at 25? Really?), or even about all those discussions/ arguments/ adjustments that happen over the course of a new emerging relationship, all the emotional surveys and questionnaires that get filled out, and all the little idiosyncrasies about each other that you need to find out, figure out, and love or hate or deal with.

I will listen to your recapping, and I will be a supportive friend. But you are gonna have to do me a solid here, and that solid is this:

Please remember that I am 30, and I have had the blessed luck and the simultaneous dark misfortune of living your life, my life, and various other peoples existences AT LEAST THREE TIMES OVER. Had you checked in with me 5 years ago, that statement would still be true. Thats not something Im technically proud of, it just remains a sheer fact. When you think of me in your mind, the following phrases should probably appear in some sort of neon writing:

She has been to hell and back... and by the GRACE OF GOD keeps on trucking.
She has seen and done probably way more than I ever even want to know about.
BITCH HAS LIVED.

So please please please, do not talk at me like I could never understand the inner workings of your new 5th grade relationship. Chances are I CAN RELATE.

And as my own recap, my gift to you, one more time: A boyfriend and an AWESOME boyfriend arent the same thing. Dating and Settling often can be though.

Watch yourself.

*EDIT - If the person, or persons. who I may or may not be referencing, actually exist, they dont read this blog. So if you are reading this and feel personally attacked or offended, GET OVER YOURSELF. :)