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#5 Terminator 2: Judgement Day
Greg:
Surprised? Some of you might be wondering why this isn't much higher on the list, given my family's devoted affinity to all things Schwarzenegger. When watching this second installment of a would-be epic action saga (had not Terminator 3: Rise of the Steaming Pile of Sh*t ever been made - you are dead to me Claire Danes),one can clearly see the definitive characteristics of a balls-to-the-wall action flick that has no real comparison. Yet only under close scrutiny can one point out some quantifiable flaws, which forces me to land this plane at a respectable #5.
First off, Arnold is a bit of a Streisand (thank you Andrew Alix) in Part Deux. Apart from pinning people to pool tables and shooting several S.W.A.T. team officers in the back of the knee, Arnold really doesn't do that much killing. Jim "Titanic was my masterpiece" Cameron really strayed from the bad-ass Terminator of 84, who wore blue-blockers and offed anyone who had maybe heard the name Sarah Conner once in their life. Terminator circa 1991, however, is sent back in time to protect, and in doing so, he does a lot more talky-talky, and alot less killy-killy. He learns a lot about life, love, high-fiving, and crying like a little whiny b*tch, from the horribly pre-pubescent Edward Furlong! Sadly, the Terminator had to do whatever this future world leader said, which of course meant keeping a low body count. Seriously, eddies mom had triple the amount of balls that Arnie displayed in this film, which conveniently brings me to my favored highlights:
A) Linda Hamilton straight up rocks your sh*t in this movie! Seriously,is there a more bad-ass character, female or otherwise, possibly ever? Don't think so! I cackle every time I watch her bludgeon the face of the man-nurse with the end of a broom stick! I'm frightened when she goes after Miles Dyson! I get the chills every time I hear her say, "f*ck you" to the T-1000 after he politely asks her to, "call to john, now." Bravo Linda Hamilton! No one does chin-ups on an upturned bed in a mental ward quite like you. I bow at the temple that is your Deltoid muscles. You've successfully managed to be the only woman to make up for Arnold's lack of a peen in an action movie. I just have two words for you...No Fate!
B) The T-1000. He doesn't look like much, and only speaks occasionally, but if you find yourself on the business end of John Conner's trail, you WILL end up with an arm-machete through the back of your head. Also a big fan of killing you with ice-pick fingers, the T-1000 set a new ground for robotic villains. Being liquid metal, he can move quicker and faster than the Arnie model (101), changing his appearance, voice and mannerisms to that of a 40 year old house wife if necessary, and if there's a fire…its Silver Surfer time! Part-robot, part-cheetah, part-mutant…all bad-ass! Thank you Robert Patrick!
"Have you seen this boy...?"
C) The Man himself.
I know I've already gone over why Arnold is a vagina in this movie, but let me explain myself…in terms of body count and outright bad-assery, Arnold sits on the VAG end of the spectrum. But whatever he lacks in kill points, he makes up for in mass destruction! Whether it's a mini-gun,grenade launcher, shotgun, or pistol, Arnold pretty much destroys whatever he shoots at. Its as if he's thinking to himself, "this car/building/mack-truck would look better if it was on fire." He blows things to hell and looks good doing it. I could sit there for hours watching him spin his shotgun around his hand like a lasso! And it doesn't get more bad-ass than the scene when he takes a shotgun and a pair of hot shades from a fat man who tried to stop him from taking a harley! Bad to the Bone!
Greg's Memorable Quotes:
"Come with me if you want to live."
"He'll live"
"Anybody not wearing 2 million sunblock is gonna have a real bad day, get it?!"
"I swear I will not kill anyone."
"I know now why you cry…but its something I could never do."
2 Cents - by Ashlee:
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I was in 7th grade when my father rented this film for the very first time. I was laying on our small blue couch in our living room in Rancho Santa Margarita, settling in for another night of Dad's screenings of films that, in retrospect, could possibly be deemed a tad inappropriate and violent for kids - but his love for Arnie shall not be questioned, and thus my borderline obsession with T2 was born. Drama, Suspense, Explosives, Emotion, this movie had everything. I actually cried at the end, tears my friends, and subsequently free-hand drew in pencil the exact scene of Arnold's "thumbs-up" slowly sinking into the molten lava. I had a lot of free time at 12 years old apparently.
However, no amount of repeated viewings or creepy art sketches can compare to the pain of my unrequited love for a one Mr. Edward Furlong. My crush on this 5'1 hunk of boy spiraled into scary. I mean whats not to love? He was way ahead of the curve with his early nineties Posh Spice 'Do, and his puberty squeak. Yum!
Im thinking now that he may or may not have been a legal midget.
Regardless, I love this movie, and will always hold a special place in my heart for time travel, leather pants, knife carvings, broken Spanish, and milk cartons.
Ashlee's Memorable Quotes:
"There's 215 bones in the human body. That's one"
"I ORDER YOU NOT TO GO!"
"Hello, Doctor Silbermann. How's the knee?"
"Did you call *moi* a dipshit?
"John Connor : We've got company.
Miles Dyson: Police?
Sarah Connor: How many?
John Connor: Uh, all of them, I think"
Stay Tuned as we count down the Greatest Action Flicks of All Time...
4 comments:
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you meet THEE Edward Furlong in 8th or 9th grade??? Didn't he ask for your phone number or something?? I suppose this was before he began drunkenly freeing lobsters in Kentucky grocery stores..
I believe I may actually have made that up. Hence the infatuation that bordered on scary and totally imaginary. I had no recollection of that till just now. Thank you Jill for outing me on my own blog.
I remember your obsession with that boy, and I knew you were lying about meeting him! I never would have remembered all that though... how does Jill remember this stuff?
Gregory has been quoting movies since he was like 6 years-old. I distinctly remember palm springs with your family and Ash and I were "too cool for you" jr. highers, but we still spent hours listening to Greg quote movie after movie and we were all dying laughing. The whole time your mom had this look saying, "Who let this 6-year-old watch all these movies?!... oh, wait..."
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