I am officially my own cliche. Ive always hated holidays that force huge expectations which never materialize, but more recently my dislike has been aimed at New Years Eve, for more reasons than I care to count.
This year, I am amidst my first winter in New England, I am currently sans employment, I seem to be dying of pnuemonia, I am hopelessly homesick, and making matters flagrantly retarded - Iam totally incapable of not missing someone who is, at best, a figment of my idealized imagination.
Valentines Shmalentines.
Me, a bottle of red, and some crooning country tunes made for a strange and weepy evening.
If he is reading this, which I am sure anger and a delusional sense of pride will make impossible, but if...
Im sorry you will never see these tears. Im sorry all I had to offer you was lies and scorn. Im sorry that in almost a year I cant say that I ever really tried - not even once.
I should have.
Thats the only consolation I can give.
I should have tried.
2 comments:
Q: What's the best cure for a Valentine's hangover?
A: A new season of America's Next Top Model, that's what!!! Is it Wednesday night yet or what?!??!
P.S. You're fabulous and I love you!
It wasn't meant to be, Ash. He was not "the one" or else you would have tried without even trying. He may have had some qualities that were a fit with you, but he definitely didn't have it all.
I am sorry things are not going well all at once! I wish I was there to hug you and share a big bowl of cereal (well, we would each have our own bowl.. you know what I mean).
I can't figure out how to say what I want to say without it being TMI for your other readers, so i am going to email you!
Love you.
Post a Comment