Contrived Ramblings

So Im sitting at my desk, recounting to myself how Ive only had maybe 6ish hours of sleep each of the past three nights, and how its pathetic that I cannot function as a human being based solely on my imagined sleep deprivation. Not three hours - six. Is 28 the new 40? Apparently.
I was determined to not let this blog turn into "...and then, all the ladies in the office took Patty Doyle to lunch today to celebrate her upcoming wedding..." because really, no one cares about the minute details of your life Bloggers, take note. So therefore, I was trying to conjure up some interesting little morsel for you all to feed on, yet all I can think about is how tired I am, and how I am mad that I had to get a vaccination today like I was a toddler, and my arms hurt, and I just want a back rub, and GOD why cant fried rice have no carbs. I would fill a bathtub with it and roll around. Yah, I said it.
I need to start doing yoga again. Or strip aerobics. Or how about just go outside and walk around once in awhile - thats an idea.
My hair is brown - accidentally. I got impulsive and decided to try and dye it myself, only turning my hair a fetching shade of purple-ish grey. And now, thanks to modern science, it is a glorious mousy brown. I am officially New England Frumpy.
I need to write a screen play. Something I have also been talking about since, oh, 16 or so. I have this weird idea / nightmare about being confronted in a room by everyone I have ever dated - in a weirdly painful and cathartic attempt to figure out why I am incapable of normalcy. There would be tears, and shouting, and various flashback montages of first kisses and terrible break-ups. I have been working this out in my head for maybe five years now. And trust me, its entertaining.
I have not had a pedicure in going on 5 months now. That was just as difficult for me to admit, as it was for you to imagine. Please someone, package up one of the ladies from Happy Nails and send her Fed-ex to me - I may actually pay for the flower on toe in that case.
I feel as though I am succumbing to the lack of fierceness that is this town. I need reinforcements from California - and or Eugene, Oregon - Stat. I feel that only false lashes can revive me.

Im out. Happy Friday.